Ask Sue
A Weekly Q&A Column About Professionalism, Etiquette and Problems in the Workplace
by Sue Morem

How to Resign

Dear Sue: I've been offered a new job and am very excited because it is everything I want, but I am stressing out about informing my employer that I am leaving. 

I've read articles on the proper way to resign, but I am unable to come to terms with leaving the proper way. I don't want to burn any bridges and want to keep the door open. I decided to write a resignation letter and include all the things I've learned, and the ways I've grown while being employed here. What do you think? I don't know if I should be excited or sad. 

- Torn

Sue Says: It sounds as though this new job is something you really want -- be excited! It sounds as though you have had a good experience where you are which makes it difficult to leave.

Including the things you've learned and ways you've grown from this job in your resignation letter is a wonderful idea and I am sure it will make it easier for your employer to accept your resignation. It validates the positive experience you've had and enables you to leave on good terms.

Leaving a job can be difficult, but it is necessary and important for you to make the move that is best for you and your career. It may be difficult for your employer because it's always hard to see good people leave, but you are doing everything you can to ensure that you leave on a positive note.

Dear Sue: I work at an insurance brokerage firm and I enjoy what I do. I get along well with my supervisors and just about everyone that works here except for one person. This woman thinks she is better than everyone else. She is especially rude to me.

She tells me to throw away her trash, and if I ignore her she will dump it on my desk. When she discovers that the fax machine or printer is out of paper, she demands that I put paper in it. She acts as though she is my boss and gives me projects without even checking with our supervisor first. One time when we were in a meeting she insulted me in front of everyone. 

I am sure that down deep inside this coworker is insecure and has to cover it up by being rude and bossy, but I do not like it and can't take it much longer. 

My supervisor knows that this is a problem and has told me not to let it bother me, but I do not believe that is the answer. What can I do? 

- Fed up

Sue Says: This woman will probably boss you around and try to control you for as long as you allow her to. You can begin to change things by refusing to follow her orders.

Why don't you take control of the situation by requesting a meeting with her and demand to know why she is treating you this way? Let her know that her demands are putting undue pressure on you and that you will not allow her to treat you this way anymore.

Your supervisor will make light of this until you let her know how seriously it is affecting you. If you cannot resolve this on your own you need to talk with your supervisor again and consider requesting a meeting with the three of you.

The next time trash is dumped on your desk, make a decision -- is it easier to dispose of it and say nothing, confront this woman or put the trash back on her desk?

When she asks you to replace paper in the printer or gives you a project to work on, question her authority, refuse to do it or just do it -- but realize it is your choice. Only you know what your tolerance level is and what it will take for you to stand up to this bully. There is a reason she has selected you to take advantage of -- consciously or not, you are allowing her to.

Sue Morem is a professional speaker, trainer and syndicated columnist. She is author of the newly released 101 Tips for Graduates and How to Gain the Professional Edge, Second Edition. You can contact her by email at asksue@suemorem.com or visit her web site at http://www.suemorem.com. 

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